This is a question I have asked myself many times throughout my life and it seems that when I needed to ask it the most, I didn’t. I am fascinated by the phenomenon of “belief” and what we hold on to as “truth” and the vehemence with which we cling to it.
Without getting into a deep discussion about ego, let us just establish for the sake of communication that as humans, we all have one and it is by far our worst enemy. I will not tread where others have so eloquently shared but I very wholeheartedly recommend the book “A New Earth” by Ekhart Tolle for deeper reading on the subject.
For now, suffice it to say that our ego is not our friend.
Everyone has a fundamental belief system that has been set in place by our parents, family, religious and social circles. This belief system is cemented by our frame of reference and as we go through life, it is usually strengthened by our need to be right and have a grasp on “truth” (ego). This is a human characteristic and none of us is exempt from it. The fact that we have an ego that thrives on “being right” drives us to either learn more about our beliefs or just cling to them with our life. This isn’t good or bad, it’s just the way we are.
For years, I was convinced in my own mind that I had the “truth” and I like many in my circle, was ready to give everything I had or was – even die or kill - for that truth if it was “required” (whatever that means). At first glance, that very fact would tend to indicate that my sense of security in my beliefs was rock solid when in fact the complete opposite was the case.
So, getting to the point – How secure are we in our beliefs and how can we gauge that in an honest way?
First, let’s clarify why finding out is even important. The obvious answer is if anyone is going to argue, fight or die for something or make any sacrifice for his or her perception of truth, it only makes sense that you would want to be damn sure you were truly committed and understand what that commitment is based on.
The first litmus in knowing how secure we are in our beliefs about anything is our initial reaction when those beliefs are challenged. Do we get defensive and angry? If so, it is safe to say that we are not secure at all.
Anger is an emotion that is triggered by fear – fear of not being in control, of being “wrong”, of being harmed, etc. For example, we are driving down the road minding our own business and someone cuts in front of us nearly causing an accident. The initial rush of adrenaline prompts two emotions in consecutive order – fear and anger. Then come the one finger salutes, nasty verbal exchanges or the self-poisoning ranting about the “idiots” on the road. The fear of not being in control at that moment sparked the anger. The beauty of this is that our reaction to fear is 100% within our control and anger is an emotion of choice - we choose to experience it. When we allow anger to entertain our ego, we are showing a definite lack of confidence and surety in whatever triggered the emotion. So, when our beliefs are challenged, our ego flares into fear of the possibility it may be wrong and anger sets in as we fly off the handle in a spewing of “righteous indignation”. Anyone that knows me knows that I have had a very extensive background in this fear based reactive process in my past so I know what I am talking about.
A person who is secure in who they are or what they believe will very seldom give in to anger when they feel challenged or threatened. Let’s look at some of the great ones – Jesus of Nazareth is a good one to start with. His teachings were radical for his time and flew in the face of the predominant worldview, and he was persecuted and ridiculed incessantly for his beliefs. And yet Jesus conducted himself with quiet dignity as he continued to teach by parable and example his philosophy of love. Even as he was brutally assassinated by his peers, he maintained his quiet dignity because he was secure in his heart about who he was and what he believed and taught.
Gandhi is another example of quiet dignity and surety in his beliefs and ideals. Like them, there are many examples in history and in the world today if we want to see them.
So, how can we find security and assurance in our beliefs if we are prone to anger when these are challenged?
The first step is to identify what we are afraid of – usually that is the possibility that we may not be “right” but there may be several underlying issues. When we identify these fear instigating issues, they are much easier to address in a calm, coherent and dignified manner.
The next step is to see a challenge to our beliefs as a beautiful opportunity – not a threat. If we are TRULY in search of “truth” then why would we be afraid of being wrong? Would it not make more sense to be eager to discover if our truth serves us or not rather than cling to it in ignorance? The fact is, we have nothing to lose by embracing challenges to our faith or beliefs as blessings because the worse thing that can happen is we discover something we have clung to by inertia or programming is not serving us and we get to change it. On the other hand, we may very well find that our faith and beliefs are serving us just fine and the challenge presented to us blessed us with the opportunity to further cement that aspect of our belief system making us more secure in who we are and what we choose to believe.
One of the obstacles to embracing challenges to our faith and beliefs is the unfounded fear that if one aspect of them no longer serves us (or never did), somehow we might have to discard everything else about it. That is like the proverbial throwing the baby out with the bath water. There is not a philosophy, organization or person in existence on this planet that is perfect in every aspect. That does not mean that because they may have flaws or weaknesses they are “bad” in their entirety. Yet we have this compelling fear that if somehow we find some aspect of our belief system or religion that does not serve us, we have to deny the rest of it. Isn’t that just a tad bit extreme?
If we are able to understand that the pursuit of truth is a sacred personal journey, not a group effort or a social endeavor, we will understand that to question what has been handed to us by our parents and our society is not a bad or rebellious thing, it is part of a responsible personal process of discovery. As we apply the process, we will inevitably discover what serves us best as individuals in our pursuit of enlightenment, exaltation or whatever our goal may be. Add to this very individual and sacred endeavor the fact that God or whatever loving deity we identify with will surely assist us in our efforts. So, why would we be afraid to question, explore and embrace challenges to our deepest most intimate entity – our belief system?
When we are able to see challenges to our faith and beliefs as opportunities and embrace them with love and quiet dignity, we can be assured that we are on the right path and fairly secure in who we are and what we believe.
If we are not at that point, then we can choose to continue in ignorance and argue or fight our position all the way to Iraq and back, or we can strive to discover what we are afraid of and what truly serves us.
May we have the courage to look at our fears and overcome them with love as we find quiet confidence in who we are and what we believe with no need to be right or prove others wrong.
Won’t that make this world a wonderful place?
Love and Peace
Dave Moreno
5/2/08
